Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen ko!!


Parishioner: Father bakit may nakasampay na daster, bra at panty sa may kumbento? may asawa ka?
Father: Kung aasa ako sa mga donasyon nyo, di ako mabubuhay! Tumatanggap ako ng labada!


GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!


a mental patient is singing while lying on a hospital bed. after a song
dumapa sya the nurse asked... "O, bakit ka bumaliktad?" he answered:
"Adik ka ba?! Side B na kaya!"


Sabi Airforce: "No Guts No Glory!"
Sabi Marines: "No Retreat No Surrender!"
Sabi Army: "No Pain, No Gain!"
naks! ayaw patalo
Security Guards: "No I.D . No Entry!"



BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital):
Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, Bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!


Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa kanto namin
(dumaan ang mister nya...)
Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?
Mister: Yoko sayo kamukha mo misis ko!Hurmph


A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...
Spielberg hit the chinese...
Chinese: why you hit me?
Spielberg: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor , my father died there.
Chinese: but I am chinese not Japanese, stupid!
Spielberg: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same!
... chinese punched Spielberg Spielberg: why you hit me too?
Chinese: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.
Spielberg: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!
Chinese: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!