i feel like i just need to vent out my emotions here. somebody really important to me went online today. X,not actual name, talked to me more than 10 days ago. it is not like X goes online all the time, and when X goes online, its kinda a big thing for me, i treat X very special as i think X is living in a really pitiful state. but X went online a few mins ago, i just wanted X to do me a really small favor, yet X replied me saying that X is lazy. whenever X was in need, no matter how big or hard it may be, i would always help X. But why is it that when i need any help from X , X wouldn't help me at all? why is it that X is heartless? but even though X is heartless why can't i bring myself to be angry at X? why? but when i'm with X , X acts as if X was my close friend, but when i'm gone. X show no care at all. i think X is plastic.

Two nurses on duty...
Nurse 1: Hoy! Gaga, bakit may thermometer sa tenga mo!
Nurse 2: Ha? susmaryosep! kaninong pwet ko kaya naiwan yung ballpen ko!!


Parishioner: Father bakit may nakasampay na daster, bra at panty sa may kumbento? may asawa ka?
Father: Kung aasa ako sa mga donasyon nyo, di ako mabubuhay! Tumatanggap ako ng labada!


GF: I'm warning you! darating na si daddy within 1 hour!
BF: Eh ano ngayon? eh wala naman tayong ginagawang masama ah!
GF: Kaya nga! kung may plano ka, DALIAN MO NA!!


a mental patient is singing while lying on a hospital bed. after a song
dumapa sya the nurse asked... "O, bakit ka bumaliktad?" he answered:
"Adik ka ba?! Side B na kaya!"


Sabi Airforce: "No Guts No Glory!"
Sabi Marines: "No Retreat No Surrender!"
Sabi Army: "No Pain, No Gain!"
naks! ayaw patalo
Security Guards: "No I.D . No Entry!"



BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital):
Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, Bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!


Misis: lolokohin ko mister ko, magpapanggap ako na prosti dito sa kanto namin
(dumaan ang mister nya...)
Misis: Pogi! available ako ngayon, pwede ka ba?
Mister: Yoko sayo kamukha mo misis ko!Hurmph


A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...
Spielberg hit the chinese...
Chinese: why you hit me?
Spielberg: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor , my father died there.
Chinese: but I am chinese not Japanese, stupid!
Spielberg: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same!
... chinese punched Spielberg Spielberg: why you hit me too?
Chinese: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.
Spielberg: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!
Chinese: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!

if i could remember, it was already around 10 noon when i called my friends out. I asked them whether they would want to have a drink at my place. at first i thought they would disagree to come over because i didn't asked them a day before since they are always relatively busy with their own life, however, they agreed.

i went to meet up with Alicia first underneath my block since she was just a block away from my house. we went to shop&save to buy a lot of snacks. And then we went to Mac to buy our dinner.

while we were waiting for our other friends to arrive at my place, we watched 'the hottie and the nottie' movie. it was really funny. the nottie was just really nasty and ugly. ugh! the movie was already over and both of my other friends haven't arrived yet. so me and alicia started drinking first. we mixed Dom with orange mango, and then we tried mixing it with sprite and ice lemon tea. i was already on my third glass when she was just having her first.



my dad came back from a birthday party and then left some food on the table for us to eat if we would get hungry. and then he went to the birthday party again.

finally jason and lee ping arrived, and it was already around 1am. the good thing is, they told me that they would just go home around 8,9,10 am. the room was like a club we had black and white flashing lights and sometimes colored flashing lights. we had a lot of bottom up. and lee ping was already kinda tipsy. we also opened up one of the champagne that i have in my house.

we went out and cycle all the way to jason's place and took chivas, vodka absolute, and one melon thingy i forgot what its called. then we cycled back to my place again. then me and lee ping went out to buy more ice at seven eleven. and then we went back home. at the cashier i asked him if they have 2kg ice or 3kg ice. cause the only available ice was 5kg. and i told him it feels like we are having a barbeque party although we are not. we laughed. 4 of us with 5kg ice. nice. and the remainding ice couldn't even fit my freezer at home. haha.

when both of us arrived, jason was taking a nap, and then we started drinking again. we drank a lot. lee ping was all over the place already. she was beyond tipsy. haha. she couldn't already stand up straight. if she would lie down, she kept turning and turning around. haha.

we danced and danced like there was no tommorrow. the music was loud and we didn't even care if the neighbour would complain or get angry with the noises that we made haha. all of us were already drunk haha. lee ping vomited. and after a few hours i vomited too. haha. then i bathed with my clothes on. i was already drunk, i had a nap on my toilet while the warm water was showering on me body. and then i woke up and went to my room to get some clothes and changed. and all of them was already sleeping. and then i slept too. here are some of the pictures that we took on that day.

why are all the 'plastic' people i know are blood related?

ugh! i can't get myself to fall asleep. its already 3.26am. i already tried fixing my room to make myself tired. nevertheless, i still feel energetic. sigh.

so i'm just going to blog about all the stuff that i can think of while i was back in the philippines.

Dike river.

my friend from tarlac just finished their examination. So they decided to go and have fun after their hectic exams. they invited me to go cause they know i was bored and not doing anything at all at home. actually at first, i refused to go because i was lazy. but then, they kept txting me, bugging me to go with them. so i agreed to their request.

we met at the plaza, and hired a tricycle. we had to make 2 trips,back and forth, because we all couldn't fit inside one tricycle.

when we arrived there. i was like. WHAT THE HELL. it's so HOT! there wasn't any cool breeze at all. it was really hot and sunny. it is hot enough to practically cook an egg on a metal frying pan without actually having a fire to heat it up.

and this bufalow beside our hut is really disgusting, he kept cleaning his nose using his tongue. he has amazingly long tongue that could reach inside his nostrils. it was really gross to see it.
well it was really hot and i really really really want to cool myself off. so me and my friend ariane decided to swim in the river. the river current is so strong that i can't even get myself to stand at one location for more than a second. so if you were to lift your foot of the ground, the current will push you away somewhere really fast. its kinda cool. cause its like automatic swimming to me. haha. you don't really have to make an effort to kick your legs and move your hands to actually move. because the river current is doing that job for you. isn't that cool? haha

t

then we took a lot of pictures.









and then we all decided to go home.the rest of them went home, but ariana and i hanged out at her place. cause i don't think i'm going to be doing anything at my aunt's home.

since i'm a little bit bored. i'll just blog about what we did when me and some of my friends went drinking at eski bar at clark quay a few weeks ago.

well if i could remember, i met ling ling first at dhoby gaut exchange. it has been such a long time since i last saw her. i think it has already been almost a year or more. but it feels like i've seen her yesterday. see how time flies quickly.

then we met pei yun at clark quay control station. we head out to meet jia yi. i realized that everybody look different now. infact, everybody look much better than before.

and since jason was going to be late, we had our dinner first. we talked practically about everything. I even heard stories that some of my previous classmates are weird now. sucks to be them. haha

when jason arrived, we head straight to eski bar. we ordered hard liquor and i had one more extra heiniken i just love heiniken. it cost 12 dollars for a bottle of heniken! gosh! its really expencive! haha :D

we played a lot of games inside. and all of us were really really noisy. to be honest i don't think i was tipsy or drunk at all. it feels like i'm just really energetic. we paid more than a hundred dollar for everything. but i think everything was worth it, because we all had a great time there. and of course we camwhored all the way! hahaha! and here are some of the pictures











in total it was more than 300 photos! can you imagine that!
we went out of the place around 3am. and then waited for nightrider bus. we kept waiting and waiting for N1 and they kept telling me that it will arrive soon. but then i checked the time at the board. N1 isn't arriving because we already passed the last bus for that bus service. UGH! we've been waiting for more than an hour already. and there is another bus service that will bring us back home it passed us a lot of times while we were waiting for the other bus. i can't really remember what the number was. we finally boarded the bus around 5 something. and reached home around 6am. and when i arrived back home. i went straight to my bed and sleep. so that was mostly what happened to me that day :D

you know,if you need my help, i will always be there for you and help you. and you know that. i've done it a couple of times already. however, i must see you helping yourself too.but if i kept helping you and see that your not doing anything to make things right. then there will be no point of helping you anymore.

Here i am, waiting for time to past. lining up in a emotional roller coaster journey. An adventure that i never before have seen or experience in my life. Soon, later, i will need to buckle up myself for the extreme ride of my life. This following week, every movement that i make, every decision that i agreed on, every choices that i choose will have to be very silent. I must not be noticed. or else ,everything will go to waste.

I thought it was "the-end" for my Ipod today because it gave me a sad look on the screen when i charged it. I thought it was time to say bye bye to my ipod photo. But i heard from people in the net, punching your ipod could actually save its life. My 5 years warranty is gone. I don't have anything to lose. I punch my ipod at the back a few times. And AMAZINGLY, the screen LIGHTed up! i was esctatic! My almost dead friend was back alive again!

:D

I feel really emotional right now. I just don't know what will happen to me after a couple of weeks later. You might not really understand what I'm talking about, but i feel that i just need to express my thoughts here. I don't really know if i could handle it. I don't really know if i could survive in the situation that I will be having sooner or later. I don't' even know if i could go over my limits to have things done. I don't even know where to get my money and my food from if i were ever going to be short on money. I don't even know where to run to if i ever need a shoulder to cry on. I don't even know if i could survive being silent or alone. I don't really know what to do while somebody is suffering because of what i just did. But the one and only thing that i know what i am suppose to do now is not to panic, or i will breakdown.

Its not that i want to hurt them. Its not because i despise them. Its because I'm left with no other choice.

I know I've been quite a disappointment to you. I know I'm spoilt. I know you've given me more than i actually needed. I know I've made quite bad choices that went really wrong all the time. I know you spent a lot of money because of me. I know you see changes in me that you don't really like. And by simply saying sorry to you won't change the fact that all of this happened already. What i just want you to know that i still think of you and I'm trying my best to change for the better. time will tell what I've done. I Just hope that both of you will wait patiently for my return. And i hope both of you will forgive me for what I've done so far. I love you both

i just woke up awhile ago, still feeling a little bit sleepy, but i just couldn't get myself back to sleep. Then my mom went in my room asking me if i have thumbtacks, and i told her that i don't.

She must have stared at me for quite sometime till she noticed this , she told me not to play volleyball anymore at the beach. Cause she feels that the color of my skin is really dark now. and then she told me to put whitening cream for my face and body whitening lotion for my body.

(X_ X)''

2008/01/31

My first 'scratch*' experience.


I didn't felt anything while doing this. I was numbed. I was somebody else. Each scratch that i endured couldn't add up to what evilness i did to that person. I blamed myself for hurting someone who is so close to me. We were never the same again after that day. I'm sorry

*I don't consider it as a cut, cause its not even that deep.

whenever i'm packing my stuff, i feel a sense of relief. It feels like every item that goes into my luggage brings me a step away from Singapore.

Singapore's crowded environment has never suited me. There are high rise buildings, people and car everywhere. The lack of open space is stifling. homesickness overwhelmed me.

In Singapore, the only thing that keeps me from moving are my family and my friends. without that i don't really know if i could survive living here.

just looking at a HDB flat makes me sick. it feels like its squeezing me to the point that i don't have sufficient air to breath. and if you think living at the highest floor of a HDB flat will give you a sense of greeneries and open space when you look out of your window, then you are wrong. cause beside you are more HDB flats blocking your view. That sucks.